Storm crept a little closer to Kano’s food bowl, nippling at the scraps on the floor, taking her time.
Kano watched her carefully without moving a muscle.
Was this the day?
Was Kano really going to let Storm (a tiny kitten) eat her food?
She made it to Kano’s food bowl, sniffing around the edges and acting as if she didn’t see the dog 7x her size watching her from half a foot away.
She lifted her head.
Paused for a moment.
And then she went for it:
Kano’s food bowl.
Kano ERUPTED… growling and barking and trying to kill the cute little (but not so innocent) Storm.
I grabbed Kano by the collar before the bloodbath could ensue and sent him off to a dark room for a timeout.
I love watching animals in situations like this.
They’re so good with their boundaries.
If they don’t want something else to eat their food, they growl and bark and bite.
There’s no shame around anger and aggression. No guilt. They don’t blame themselves when they get angry with someone or something. And they don’t tell themselves that “they’re projecting” in order to avoid feeling (or expressing) the aggression.
The simply feel it… and (most importantly) express it.
That fight energy isn’t static and still. It’s dynamic and action-oriented. It’s what makes them bark and growl and bite.
But humans? What do we do when we’re angry?
It’s usually one of 2 extremes:
Either (we think) we have no anger at all, as demonstrated by the thought “I’m just not an angry person” (aka. we stuff it down inside of us, usually without even realizing it)…
…or we explode out of all proportion and rage at the people around us, saying things that we would otherwise never say, thinking angry thoughts that never seem to end and maybe even getting violent.
Either of these extremes is a clear sign of nervous system dysregulation.
If our fight response and aggression is blocked, we’re vulnerable. We won’t set proper boundaries with the people around us and we won’t usually realise when someone’s trying to manipulate us (gaslighting, guilt-tripping, minimisation, etc).
On the other hand, if it’s not blocked but rather explosive and out of control, we’ll hurt the people around us, lose their respect and drive them away.
Either way, it messes up our life.
Meditation… self-help books… gratitude lists… breath work… etc… they’re all useful in some respects, but none of them specifically deal with healthy aggression and the fight response of the nervous system.
That’s where Rageheart comes in.
It’s a step-by-step program for regulating your nervous system. This means unblocking the fight-or-flight response (if it’s blocked) or getting it under a healthy sense of control (so you’re not blowing up at the people around you and ruining relationships).
Learning to work with aggression energy has been one of the most transformative aspects of this work for me. It changed everything.
However, it’s not something you can rush. It’s big energy and before we can get to that, we need to build in some baseline regulation, capacity and safety into the nervous system. That’s why I don’t cover healthy aggression until towards the end of the Rageheart curriculum 🤷♂️
If you want to discover the beastly magic of working with the healthy aggression and anger inside you, sign up to Rageheart before it closes at midnight tonight (only 16 hours left):
Already a member and feeling the call to do another rage? Hit the “Sign In” link on that page and get after it.