I was in Cusco recently for a Tinder date and it got me thinkingā¦
Dating is ALL about safety, kisses and inflatable butt plugs š
With kisses, itās obvious.
Whether we like a little tongue or not, we all want to kiss and be kissed.
Then thereās inflatable butt plugs.
Admittedly, theyāre not everyoneās cup of teaā¦
Some people donāt even know what theyāre for (I overhead a conversation recently where an old lady said inflatable butt plugs are for preventing farts during sex š¤·āāļø)ā¦
ā¦but that doesnāt mean that some people donāt love them.
Inflatable butt plugs could also be a symbol of sexual pleasure, and as we all know, most people want a bit of that in their lives.
Finally, thereās the little-known linchpin of dating:
Safety.
I would go so far as to say that dating is ALL about safety.
For example, if you donāt feel safe with someone, thereās no way youāll let them kiss you or stick an inflatable butt plug in your ass.
Safety first ā ļø
On the other hand, if you feel completely safe with someone – such as a long-term partner – you might be fine to skip the small talk and go straight to the kissing and inflatable butt plug shenanigans.
See what I mean?
Safety is the real foundation of dating and relationships.
If you really think about it, all the various mating and courting rituals that humans have are about establishing safety.
For example, the only reason you donāt immediately start kissing some new hot person on the street or in the mall is because itās not safe.
You donāt know if they like you⦠or if theyāre dangerous⦠or if they crack too many Dad jokes⦠or if they smell like 3-day old rotten fish.
In other wordsā¦
You donāt feel safe.
Not yet anyway.
Thatās why we need to talk to someone before we kiss them for the first time. We need to get to know them.
Itās all basically an elaborate ritual of safety.
Interesting, right?
Iād take it even further:
Safety is the foundation of EVERYTHING in our lives… not just dating, sex and inflatable butt plugs.
Think about it.
If you donāt feel safe, do you think youāll be able to focus on your work?
Hell no.
Youāll be busy scanning for potential threats in your environment⦠even if only subconsciously. All the energy that you couldāve spent on getting shit done goes to making sure you donāt die.
What about your relationships? Will you be a better friend, father, mother, son or daughter if you feel unsafe?
Again, HELL NO.
Youāll be too busy scanning for threats and protecting yourself. Youāll be more likely to lash out and say things you donāt really mean – all because it makes you feel a little bit safer – even if it means damaging the relationship.
Or think about what happens when you buy something from someone.
You might check the reviews to see if the company is trustworthy or ask your friends for a referral, all to find out if itās safe to buy the thing from the company.
Getting in your own way? Imposter syndrome? Self-sabotaging?
Itās because success and failure make you feel unsafe. What will people say if you fail? What about if you succeed?
In other wordsā¦
SAFETY.
See?
Everything is about safety.
EVERYTHING š¤
So –
The big, fat, definitely not Greek question, is:
If safety is the foundation of everything in our lives, why does no one talk about it?
Meditation.
Gratitude lists.
Journalling.
Self-help books, courses and conferences.
Talk therapy.
Life coaching.
Breathwork.
All the other random shit people do.
Does ANY of it talk about safety in the nervous system?
No.
Itās about calming down, taking a deep breath, writing about your problems, emptying your mind and playing with inflatable butt plugs.
That’s why most self-help strategies don’t work. They don’t deal with the root issue: a lack of safety in the nervous system.
Thatās where Rageheart comes in.
Rageheart is a step-by-step action guide to your nervous system.
It includes detailed instructions for cultivating a deep and profound sense of safety throughout your entire nervous system⦠along with a whole suite of tools for regulating your stress response and getting out of your head and into your body.
In more simple terms:
If your nervous system was a car, Rageheart contains the professional ādrivingā lessons you need (and that no one else teaches).
And guess what?
For the first time in a month, itās OPEN to new customers!
Restore safety to your nervous system here (and watch as your life changes):
āhttps://www.rageheart.co/app/ā
Cheers,
John Wood