I remember when it first happened.
I’d drank Ayahuasca alone in my bedroom in rural Australia, high up in the Southern Highlands.
Outside a snow storm raged while inside I purged who knows what into a bright yellow bucket.
That might’ve been the night I tipped my purge bucket all over myself too (a story for another time 🤣).
After the peak of the Ayahuasca ceremony (maybe 3-4 hours in), I remember singing along to a beautiful song called Vuela con el Viento (Fly With The Wind) by Ayla Schafer while gazing at my cat Foxy (remember her?).
At some point during the song, I realised I felt something I’d never felt in my entire life.
I felt like I was made of air.
Or like a curtain blowing gently in the breeze.
Instead of being scared by this new and unfamiliar feeling, I was astonished.
It was the softest, most beautiful and most lovely feeling I’d ever felt 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍
It felt like what I’d been searching for for my entire life.
Total and complete relaxation.
Not just a quiet mind…
…but a body so quiet that not one shred of tension remained.
Not a care in the world.
In all my searching… in all the different books I’d read, techniques I’d used, courses I’d taken, thoughts and worries I’d had…
…what I wanted all along was just to feel this.
Truly, deeply, passionately relaxed.
I’m not sure how long I felt like this.
It was more than a few minutes but not more than a few hours.
Afterwards, I never asked myself if it was possible to do it on demand.
I assumed that it was something special that sometimes happens with Ayahuasca… an exceedingly rare, unlikely and superhuman level of relaxation… beyond anything I’d ever felt (or heard about in all my searching and wandering).
Then I felt it again during an Ayahuasca ceremony in April last year.
The first time I was standing up but this time I was lying down.
I don’t know what triggered it but at some point during the night, my whole body opened up just like it had before.
Every shred of tension dissolved and I felt like I was made of air… or a curtain blowing gently in the breeze 🍃
Once again, it didn’t last.
And once again, I assumed that it was a rare, unlikely and superhuman level of relaxation – surely not available to mere mortals on demand without a TON of work and practice.
Then it mostly faded into a pleasant but distant memory as I got on with my life.
Every now and then, I’d wish and hope for it… but it always seemed to be too good to be truly available to me.
Then Felix and Safa (my teachers here in Peru on this psychedelic dieta) started talking about how there are no limits to anything.
That’s when I began to wonder…
What if it’s possible for me to feel that feeling on demand? 🤔
What if it’s not a rare, unlikely and superhuman ability but a natural function of the nervous system?
To use the nervous system language, what if it’s simply a sign up a deep parasympathetic rest?
If that’s true, then this feeling is OUR BIRTHRIGHT.
If that’s true, then the fact that it’s exceedingly rare in the modern world for people to feel like that only shows just how stressed out and sympathetic (fight-or-flight) most people are (as I keep saying).
If the “curtains blowing gently in the breeze” feeling is a natural, healthy function of my nervous system, that means I can learn how to activate it at will.
In bed at night.
When I’m walking.
Hell, maybe even when I’m working 🥳
And if that’s possible, just imagine the benefits 🤩
For example, most of what we want as humans comes from the parasympathetic state.
Think about what most of what people “struggle” with – anxiety, depression, insomnia, digestive problems, a racing mind, feeling numb.
They’re all signs of a dysregulated nervous system… and the healing comes when the body gets into a state that’s MADE for healing… the parasympathetic state.
So the more you feel like air, the more all of those issues dissolve.
But it’s not healing that improves… it’s also learning.
Learning happens best when we’re relaxed.
That means if we could learn to access that feeling more, we would learn anything and everything better.
Languages. Musical instruments. Business skills. Coding. Knitting. Tantra. Martial arts. Cooking. Engineering. Drawing. Painting. Singing. Writing. You name it. Whatever you want… easier, faster, better.
It means better performance at EVERYTHING.
A better life.
Because instead of constantly worrying and scanning for threats (or using unhealthy coping mechanisms like alcohol, weed or porn to soothe your anxiety), your nervous system can focus on recovery – healing, assimilating information, and rebuilding neural patterns.
It means better sleep because the body is so damn relaxed it might blow away in the breeze.
Imagine how refreshed you might feel in the morning if you went to bed every night feeling like that.
Imagine your dreams.
Imagine how you would relate to the people around you.
No more snapping and arguing and getting triggered.
Calm, relaxed, open and free.
With all of that in mind, I’ve asked the plants on this dieta to help me activate this feeling at will. To teach me how to do it.
Because hey, if anything is possible, why not this?
Maybe that’s what Ayahuasca has been trying to tell me all this time:
Dude! Bro. John. You can have this. Just ask.
While it hasn’t happened yet, I’ve seen promising signs of progress on this dieta already.
Signs of deeper relaxation within my nervous system than I’ve felt in a long time.
Signs that appear to be checkpoints on the way to the “curtains blowing gently in the breeze” feeling.
And if I can crack this puzzle (with the help of the plants), I wouldn’t be surprised if it becomes the mission of Rageheart 💪
To teach people how to do this for themselves.
How to feel as light as air.
How to feel like a curtain blowing gently in the breeze.
Not one shred of tension left in the body.
Because if you can learn that in Rageheart, you’ll unlock your potential in jaw-dropping ways (as described above).
Do that at scale with millions of people and the world will never be the same.
Whether or not I accomplish this goal is still to be decided.
But I know one thing for a fact:
The path to these states of relaxation begins with understanding your nervous system and how to regulate your fight-or-flight response.
I’d already been working with the nervous system tools I teach in Rageheart for over a year before I felt the “curtains blowing gently in the breeze” feeling during Ayahuasca.
So I know that the tools work and that they prepare the body and mind to relax like this… the only question is how long does it take?
It makes sense too.
If feeling like air is simply a deeply restful parasympathetic state, then tools that help you move more into parasympathetic will begin the process of learning how to activate the “curtains blowing gently in the breeze feeling” for yourself.
Anyway, if you want to prepare your body for deeper states of relaxation than you can currently imagine, join me in Rageheart here:
Lastly, I will say this…
I realize that the goal of activating this state at will is a bit of a “moonshot” (as they say in Silicon Valley).
It’s only happened twice in maybe 2 years for me… but 2x is infinitely more than no times.
That means it’s possible for humans to feel this.
The question is…
Can we learn to do it at will?
What about without Ayahuasca and psychedelics (for people who can’t or don’t want to take psychedelics)?
I plan to find out.
Because when I think of the upside, of the wide-scale changes on earth that would unfold if millions of people knew how to do this, I get goosebumps.
I don’t think it’s an understatement to say that the positive implications are staggering.
P.S. Know anyone who needs to relax?
Refer them to The Daily Growl and help them access deeper states of relaxation than they’ve ever felt before.