2 years ago, I tipped a bucket of vomit on myself 🤦♂️
And it wasn’t just on my clothes…
Somehow, it ended up inside my clothes 😳
Yep.
The gooey, tasty, CHUNKY goodness went through the neck hole of my jumper and t-shirt and smeared its way down my chest.
Yummo! 🤤
Oh!
And it all happened in pitch black darkness.
What were the chances?
Finally, it wasn’t ordinary vomit.
This was ayahuasca vomit.
See, I’d drank Ayahuasca at home on my own (note: NOT recommended for beginners or the faint of heart!) and shortly before I covered myself in vomit, I covered the bucket in vomit.
So there I am. It’s 1am in the morning. It’s snowing outside my window. I’m covered in vomit. And it’s pitch black ◼️
I’m still pretty woozy and it’s difficult to think straight or move properly (that’s why I tipped the bucket of vomit onto myself)… but I look for a torch.
Where’s the bloody torch!?!??
On my quest for the sacred beacon of pure divine light that was my $8 Aluminum torch from Target, I bumped into something.
Something plastic.
SHIT!!
The bucket.
The bucket of vomit.
Knocked over… onto clean, pale carpet.
I went slower after that, until I eventually stumbled onto my torch.
There we go!
LET THERE BE LIGHT 💡
The plastic yellow bucket was lying on its side, with vomit leaking out onto the pale carpet, with a patch on my purple yoga mat.
Puurrrrrfect 🐱
I stared at it.
What do I do now?
I don’t want to clean this up now… but I have to clean this up now… don’t I? Ughh. I’m so stupid.
I continued to sit there.
What do I do now?
I don’t want to clean this up now… but I have to clean this up now… don’t I? Ughh. I’m so stupid.
I continued to sit there.
What do I do now?
I don’t want to clean this up now… but I have to clean this up now… don’t I? Ughh. I’m so stupid.
I continued to sit there.
What do I do now?
This loop continued for who knows how long…
…while I felt ashamed and bad and stupid for spilling vomit everywhere…
…until eventually I had the idea of a lifetime:
I know! I’ll clean it up tomorrow morning! 🎉🥳🔥
With that idea came the realisation that it’s all good man. It’s all good. People make mistakes. Mistakes aren’t important. All that matters is that you clean it up. If not now, then tomorrow morning.
It was such a ridiculous situation – vomit everywhere – and yet it became a template for a new way of relating to myself.
Not just when I spill vomit on myself or the carpet (it’s happened twice now!).
With everything that I do.
It’s ok to make mistakes.
It’s ok to get things “wrong”.
It’s ok to accidentally cover yourself in vomit or anything else.
It’s all ok.
It’s ALL ok!
This is one of the gifts of plant medicine and psychedelics.
They bring “light” (ie. awareness and clarity) to the various ways we get in our own way and beat ourselves up… all so we can find new, better, more effective (and MORE ENJOYABLE!) ways of relating to ourselves 😁
I’m not suggesting you or anyone else goes out and does Ayahuasca (since it’s illegal in most countries and not safe for some people depending on their diet, pharmaceutical stack and current mental health).
I’m just saying that sometimes we take ourselves way too seriously… and that some amazing tools exist that help us to find better ways to live, breathe and make mistakes.
I consider the nervous system approach I teach in The Daily Growl (this email newsletter) to be as good as (if not better) than psychedelics like Ayahuasca.
Why would I say that the nervous system approach might be even better than psychedelics?
Because if you’re not embodied – if you don’t know how to stay connected to your sensory experience (rather than getting lost in your mind) – it’s difficult to extract the most value from psychedelics.
And to be completely honest, you can make a TON of progress just with the nervous system approach. You can even purge just with the tools in The Rageheart Academy (no guarantees). No psychedelics needed (though they’re available in today’s world if you want to hit the accelerator).
So –
If you want to find a better, more effective and FAR more enjoyable way of relating to yourself (and all your imperfections – which we all have), commit to learning about your nervous system. How it works. How it breaks down. And get some techniques for taking it in a direction YOU want.
Cheers,
John Wood
P.S. Know anyone who is too hard on themselves? Maybe they take themselves too seriously?
Refer them to The Daily Growl (this email newsletter) and give them better tools for relating to themselves and all that they are.