How to be invisible

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by John Wood · Updated

These cats 😤

When they want you, they want you.

They insert themselves into the middle of whatever I’m doing to get what they want:

Cuddles, head rubs and tasty cat treats that are not fit for human consumption (I read the ingredients label today 😳).

But when they don’t want you, you’re invisible.

I can call them and walk towards them and they act like I’m not even there.

Storm especially.

If she’s not in the mood to hang, she won’t hang. I can’t pick her up. I can’t go towards her. Hell, sometimes I can’t even find her.

Though I suppose I can’t get too upset about feeling invisible because I bet they feel the same too sometimes.

When they’re hungry and I’m nowhere to be found (because I’m napping, walking or buying cat food at the shops).

When they want to leave their bedroom (in the bathroom) but the door’s locked and no one comes no matter how much they meow.

When I leave them outside the house to go hiking all day.

BRB cats. Out hiking with Kevin and Kaitlyn.

I’m not sure what goes through their tiny brains but perhaps there’s the occasional thought that goes something like:

Where is John? Adyashatmypants? Are they coming back? They’ve forgotten about us 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Perhaps.

Or perhaps they’re way too busy chasing lizards and birds and Spider Wasps to give Ellie or I a second thought.

For all I know, they’re celebrating.

YES! We’ve got the house to ourselves. Privacy. Freedom. Let’s get WILD baby! PARTY TIME 🥳 🥳 🥳 🥳 🥳

All the cats from the neighbourhood come over, they fire up the stereo (and sub woofer!) they’ve hidden behind the white rose bush in the garden and they play a trap/EDM remix of The Aristocats’ “Everybody wants to be a cat” on repeat.

Then once the party starts winding down, they all log into Rageheart and do one of the rages together (Rage 53 most likely), bringing their nervous systems down into parasympathetic so that they can have a nice nap before Ellie or I gets home.

I mean, the last thing they want is for us to suspect they have these wild parties every time we go out, right?

Yes.

That’s obviously what they do 🤔

Speaking of Rageheart, you can try it out for free for 7 days and get the same tools the cats use at their parties to relax their nervous systems after they dance themselves into oblivion.

Here’s the link to join:

https://www.rageheart.co/go/

Already a member and feeling the impulse (Rage 9) to soothe your system like the cats in my neighbourhood soothe their systems after their dance parties?

Hit the “Sign In” link on that page above and get meowing inside Rageheart…

Cheers,

John Wood

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