I’d like to tell you a dirty little secret about my life today.
You wanna know what it is?
I never open my eyes.
I live my life with my eyes shut.
I cook my breakfast with my eyes shut.
I write these emails with my eyes shut.
Hell, I even go to the bathroom with my eyes shut (and I’ve never missed the bowl once 💪💪💪).
I cross the highway with my eyes shut…
…chop red onions with my eyes shut…
…check out blonde chicks out with my eyes shut…
…and even watch Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers on Netflix with my eyes shut.
It’s a good life – the eyes shut life.
Since I no longer have to blink, I save copious amount of calories and can survive on 3 pieces of lettuce a day.
Just 3 pieces of lettuce a day.
Imagine the savings on your grocery bill!!!! 🤑🤑🤑🤑
It’s heavenly 😍
I bet you’re wondering how I do it.
Just how did I acquire this magical ability?
It’s all thanks to a strange little practice some people like to call “mEhDiTaYsHen” (I think that’s how you spell it 🤓).
Here’s how it works:
You simply sit perfectly still with your eyes shut for a predetermined amount of time. 5 minutes. 20 minutes. Even 50 years (and in a cave no less!).
That’s my dirty little secret 🤯
Experts say it helps you manage stress as you go about your life… however it didn’t work for me at first.
I mean, I felt calm while I sat perfectly still with my eyes shut… but when I opened my eyes and got up to go about my day and actually do shit, I couldn’t hold onto it.
So I decided to try shutting my eyes throughout my entire day like I explained above. And lo and behold – it worked!
Now I get to carry that peace of mind everywhere I go… and all I have to do is keep my eyes shut 100% of the time. Sometimes I’ll also count my breath while balancing bowls of porridge on my head – but that’s an advanced practice for advanced people only 🥣🙎♂️
In case it’s not obvious, I’m making a point about meditation:
Meditation doesn’t prepare you for daily living.
Oh sure, meditation can get you all calm and peaceful and serene during your meditation… but since you practice it while sitting still with your eyes slammed shut, that’s the skill you develop: serenity and peace with your eyes shut while sitting perfectly still.
It’s a cool trick to have in your magic box… but it’s not much use in the real world where you have to, you know, actually do shit that requires you to move with your eyes open.
Cut red onions.
Pay your electricity bill.
Suck up to Rufus “the annoying client” Dufus who won’t stop hassling you about changes on that project.
Don’t misunderstand me. I know that there is some carry-over from meditation to the real world. I’m exaggerating to make a point.
The point is…
You become good at what you practice. therefore, if you practice being calm with your eyes shut, you get good at being calm with your eyes shut. WOW!!!!!!! How useful is that!!!!!!@#!@#!!!!!!! 🙄
That’s where Rageheart comes in.
Instead of learning to feel your emotions and sensations with your eyes shut, you do it with your eyes open. You also learn to connect it with the environment around you, a critical piece of the puzzle that all but eliminates dissociation and disconnection (a huuuuUUUUuuUUUUuUUUUUUUuge problem with people who meditate a lot).
So if you want to get better at being calm with your eyes shut, even if it means you’re unconsciously disconnecting and disassociating from your emotions and sensations (which creates more problems), go meditate until Buddha or Shiva knocks on your door and smacks you in the face 🧘♂️
On the other hand, if you want to get better at being calm in the real world of red onions, busy highways and clients who piss you off, come join me inside Rageheart when it opens on January 19.
Already a member and feeling that beastly impulse (Rage 9)? Hit the “Sign In” link on the page below and get after it: