I slam on the brakes.
The back wheel starts to slide.
Everything goes slo-mo as I roll towards the station wagon in the middle of the road 🚗
I start noticing small details on the car.
Rust on the car door.
Dust on the mud flaps.
A dent in the front passenger door.
Almost there… almost dead.
Then the ABS kicks in.
The back wheel starts rolling again.
I weave to the left of the big ugly station wagon, missing it by mere inches.
5 seconds later, I feel it 😳
I scream into my helmet (and ride off into the sunset slowly 🌅).
I wish I could tell you that this only happened once but to be honest, it happened a whole bunch of times when I lived in Thailand.
I’d rent a big 650-800cc motorbike, grab some friends and then we’d see how fast we could go on the highways and curvy mountain roads.
It was dangerous, stupid and one HELL of a good time 😎
But yeah, I almost died on numerous occasions 🤦♂️
I remember another time when I took Adyashatmypants to Pai for the weekend when she came to visit me.
With 762 hairpin turns, the road from Chiang Mai to Pai is one of the most scenic and also one of the most treacherous roads I’ve been on.
And yet, I felt the need to show Adyashatmypants how fast the bike could go.
Meanwhile, she was wearing paper-thin baggy elephant shorts and shirt that would tear in a split second if we hid the pavement.
I shudder to think of the risks I used to take – all in order to simply feel alive. To feel something. Anything.
It was a big price to pay for something so simple.
These days, I don’t need to take insane risks to feel alive because I already feel alive. My life has purpose and meaning. I am fulfilled, happy and content. Life is better than it’s ever been.
It’s all thanks to the work I’ve done unfreezing my nervous system.
Once that happened, all of a sudden I could feel again. Good things, bad things and terrifying things. ALL THE THINGS! And once I started to feel things (instead of staying in my head), I finally felt alive… more alive than I’d ever felt 😍
Here’s how to do that for yourself:
Already a member and feeling the impulse (Rage 9) to feel more alive than ever before? Hit the “Sign In” link on that page and wake your system up.