How to touch yourself

John Wood, Founder of Rageheart

by John Wood

First things first…

Find a nice quiet place where you won’t be disturbed.

That’s important.

The last thing you want is someone to walk in on you while you’re, you know… touching yourself 🫢

That would be aWkWaRRRRRRRRRRRd…

Next, sit or lie down somewhere comfortable.

While you can do it in the car or the shower, it’s much more comfortable on a sofa or bed.

Also a nice place to touch yourself… though not as comfortable as a sofa or bed.

You want something soft… not hard (well, at least when it comes to wherever you sit or lie down).

Finally, before you begin, take a moment to come into the here and now.

Look around 👀

Feel the ground 🌳

Notice your breath 😮‍💨


You’re ready. Ready to touch yourself.

This is the topic of Rage 38 – the Rage I added to Rageheart today.

It’s about, you know… how to touch yourself (just like the subject line says).

You want to be gentle, kind, compassionate and maybe even playful.

Have fun with it.

It’s not meant to feel like a chore or something you “have” to do.

Think of it like a journey.

As that cliche goes…

The journey is the climax 💦

Wait, what?

That’s not it.

Oh yeah… that’s right.

The journey is the destination.

Annnnd look at that.

We got there in the end 💪

But hey, I think “climax” works perfectly here too… don’t you?

Here’s the really crazy thing about this Rage on how to touch yourself:

It has NOTHING to do with shaking hands with the milkman, feeding the chickens, cooking cucumbers, rubbing the bean, doing a Meg Ryan, turning on the sprinklers, softening the peach, paddling the pink canoe, scratching Yoda behind the ears, taking selfies at The Bean, giving yourself a hand, boxing the one-eyed champ or…

Well fuck me.

I never knew there were so many euphemisms for something as simple as having a wank 😲

Anyway, point is…

This rage on how to touch yourself is NOT sexual at all (unlike this email 🤷‍♂️).

It’s not some weird tantric sex thing. It’s not a magic sex trick that plant spirits taught me. And it’s not a special self-massage technique (not really).

It’s simply another way to deactivate your nervous system. Another way to gently pull yourself out of fight-or-flight and into rest-and-digest. Another way to master your stress response, remember who you are and unleash the beast inside you so you stop playing small and getting in your own way.

Want to try it out?

While you won’t get access to Rage 38 until you’ve completed Rage 1-37, I bet you want to find out what it’s all about 😏

If so, sign up for a FREE trial today:



John Wood

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