A couple days ago, I received the following email from beastly rager Sonam.
It’s about an intensely triggering experience he had at work that led to him almost rage-quitting his job… and how he handled it (quite beautifully).
The week before last I was moving steadily through my rages at my own pace. Practicing feeling awareness throughout my day more than I’ve managed in a while.
I didn’t really notice a major difference other than.. well, feeling more aware. Which IMO is pretty huge.
But the real difference became apparent as work got more demanding.
I had to stay late working on things to meet a “version release” deadline for a web app software product my team is developing. A series of miscommunications and several things entirely out of my control, led to most of the work I’d done (staying late) becoming pointless. The icing on the cake was two different “higher ups” leaving very triggering passive aggressive comments on some of the other work I was behind on… But I had to handle many more urgent issues– none of which were simple easy fixes…
(Aside: It’s fine most of the time and my direct team is amazing, but when these urgent deadlines come up, communication breaks down and it’s really not the best environment)
Anyway, I was extremely triggered upon reading those messages. I think it would have been triggering regardless, without rageheart, but my recent practice with awareness made everything seem so much more raw. I got very upset and could feel the emotions viscerally. I almost literally rage-quit because of the rage in my heart (😏) but luckily I was able to ground myself with the orienting practice. It wasn’t a “fix” from experiencing the emotions– I don’t think that’s its purpose anyway– but it did really help prevent me from losing myself to my emotions.
Later that night, I learned the pendulation technique. I love this technique so much. (It started me down a rabbit hole of its own, researching about energy work and moving awareness through the body)
Exploring pendulation helped me fall asleep that night, and practicing it kept me sane the next day, where I was able to take a step back and not take my coworkers and bosses’ treatment personally.
I had to take a whole week unplugged from rageheart to sit with my emotions and recharge. Today I resumed, covering the “Threats” lesson.
I just wanted to share… because these skills (and life in general) are becoming interesting and much more “real” to me very rapidly. I find the timeliness of the lessons with my daily experience amusing. Although I think rather than coincidence, the Rages are simply such foundational skills that the opportunity to exercise them are daily (sometimes hourly) occurrences.– Sonam Zahrt-Tenzin
Here’s the thing:
Sonam is barely into Rageheart.
Last I checked, he’s on Rage #8… out of 60 freakin’ rages.
In other words…
He’s not even 1/5 through Rageheart and already he’s noticing big shifts in how he operates at work… and from something as simple as the orienting practice.
I’ve shared this practice in these emails – completely free.
Here it is again in case you missed it:
Look around, feel the ground and notice your breath.
That’s all it really is.
It’s so simple you might be tempted to disregard it… instead searching for some huge, TrAnSfOrMaTiVe “7 steps to success” technique that makes you feel like a f’ing legend.
But the “unleash the beast” transformation you seek is in the little details like your ability to orient, especially in times of stress like Sonam talks about above.
I’m more than 3 years into my journey with these techniques and I’m still refining my ability to orient. I’m still paying attention to the ground, the environment and my breath – every single damn day. It’s a simple thing… but the rabbit hole of orienting goes deeper than you can imagine.
I used to look for shiny, sexy techniques that made me feel special and PrOdUcTiVe… but now I focus on the fundamentals because I know that’s where the magic lies. Orienting. Feeling the ground. Noticing my breath. And being able to do it under greater and greater degrees of complexity.
Like I said yesterday, it’s just like practicing scales on the guitar.
Sometimes, it’s boring. It might seem like nothing is happening. But if I keep doing it, I end up “shredding” with my nervous system (aka. unleashing the beast). I feel more alive, I have more energy and I sleep like a lion.
Sonam hits on another key point – that these techniques for regulating the nervous system are not a “fix” from experiencing uncomfortable emotions. What they do is stop us from losing ourselves to our emotions.
That’s a critical point.
There is NO avoiding what lies inside of us… no matter how uncomfortable or painful. We can use TV, porn, shopping, work and other addictions to bury our emotions and uncomfortable thoughts and feelings… but they leak out of us regardless, most of the time in not so healthy ways (like the classic parent screaming at an innocent child).
The question is…
Do you want your emotions to leak out of you unconsciously, making a mess of things like when you drop a carton of milk onto the floor?
Or would you rather learn to manage and master your emotions like Sonam is, discharging them without making a complete mess of your life, kind of like pouring the milk into a glass into of spilling it all over the floor?
If you’d prefer to discharge your emotions without making a mess of things, sign up to Rageheart today and get the tools and techniques Sonam refers to above – orienting (with more detail), pendulation and many more.
Get your 14-day free trial to Rageheart here:
Already a member and feeling the impulse to hone your orienting muscle? Hit the “Sign In” link on the page above and get raging.